My Blood
by alexandrarosepiper
Summary: Post 10x13 Cristina is all alone with Meredith and Owen not speaking to her. What happens when something changes her life forever? Will Cristina let her friends back in or will she shut them out? Read on to find out!
1. Where Does the Good Go?

**Okay guys this is my first fan fiction so I am super nervous but also super excited! So here you go!**

Chapter 1: Where Does the Good Go?

Cristina POV

Cristina sat quietly in the soft velvet chair, sighing to herself quietly as Arizona's fast moving fingers fixed her hair. The rain and humidity transformed her normally curly mane and turned it into what looked like a giant frizzy hairball.

"Zola, please," Meredith mumbled softly to her two and a half year old daughter.

Zola wouldn't stand still for her mother as she tried to kindly force a dress on her. Zola had to attend the wedding as well due to the fact that she had no babysitter, or at least that what she overheard anyways. She still wasn't speaking to Meredith and Meredith wasn't speaking to her.

Part of Cristina was sad at how her relationship turned out with Meredith. She missed her company and the sick twisted jokes they shared that were always dripped with a hint of sarcasm. She wasn't trying to offend Meredith. She was doing what she felt was right for their patient.

Then again, another part of Cristina felt like Meredith needed a reality check. She needed someone to tell her. And everyone else was either too concerned with their own problems, didn't care, or were too much of a coward to tell her.

As Zola continued to throw her little temper tantrum, her eyes landed on Cristina. "Auntie Cristina!" The toddler squealed delightfully as she ran as fast as she could with her little toddler legs toward Cristina.

"Hey Zozo," Cristina cooed at her adorable goddaughter who jumped on to her lap. "How are you?"

Zola pouted and gave what Cristina thought was a duck face. "I don't want to wear a dress. They're itchy."

"They are." Cristina nodded in agreement. Cristina hated wearing dresses or dressing up remotely fancy. She remembered April's baffled and shocked face when Cristina suggested the idea of all the bridesmaids wearing pantsuits. Plus she hated the fact the dress was pink.

"Cristina," Meredith sighed loudly giving her an exhausted look. "Can you please bring her over here? I really need to get this dress on her." She said smoothing out the wrinkles in the fabric that Zola had created during her little tantrum.

"I want Auntie Cristina to do it," Zola insisted as she crossed her arms. It was good to know that Zola had inherited both her Fathers and her Mothers stubbornness. Thinking about it made Cristina smirk a little. Meredith simply rolled her eyes in response.

"I can do it," Cristina stated giving a small but hopeful grin. "Really, it's no big deal."

Meredith sighed reluctantly and stood up and strode over gracefully to Cristina's chair. At first she thought Meredith was going to just grab her daughter herself. But Meredith surprised Cristina and forcefully shoved Zola's dress over to Cristina.

"Fine then. Her shoes are in the diaper bag. I'm going to go call Derek and see where the hell he is." She said annoyed as she walked out of the room, her heels clicking loudly against the hardwood floors all the way out the door.

* * *

Cristina sighed tiredly as she changed out of her bridesmaid dress. The dress was tight and squeezed her boobs in all the wrong ways. Two weeks ago at the dress fitting it fit just fine. She figured all the junk food she'd eaten from the hospitals vending machines were starting to catch up to her slim and skinny body.

Meredith walked into the room throwing her jacket onto the couch by the door. "Did you talk to the Mothers?" Meredith asked not making eye contact with Cristina as she too changed out of her dress.

"I tried," she responded dryly. Both April and Matthew's parents would not stop crying after the stunt April and Jackson pulled. The weird thing was she almost felt sorry for them. This whole big fight with Meredith was making her awfully hormonal, she figured.

"Where's Zozo," she asked curiously. The last time she saw her was before the wedding fell to pieces.

"Callie's offered to watch her while I pack up. Everyone's going to head back to the hospital."

"Oh ok," she nodded. "Um, I'll see you there?"

Cristina followed Meredith as she approached the door. "Yeah, whatever," Meredith mumbled as she slammed the door right into Cristina's face.

Cristina fought the urge to cry a couple of tears. She didn't know why it was bugging her so much. She closed her eyes and breathed in and out as she tried to calm herself down. She was Cristina Yang. Nothing fazed her. And if it did, she never showed it. _Ever_. And she wasn't about to start now.

After a few moments she opened her eyes and strode proudly out of the hotel room and down to the lobby. From there she went to find her car in the parking lot.

It was dark in Seattle so she had to turn on her headlights. She fiddled in silence with her radio as she drove down the freeway. The first song that came on gave Cristina a nostalgic feeling. It was one of Meredith's favorite songs to dance to when she and Meredith had their thirty-second dance parties.

The next song that came on made Cristina feel even worse. She didn't know the name of the song but she remembered it was played at her wedding with Owen.

Cristina felt like she was going to puke. She never realized until now how completely and utterly alone she was until now. It made her sick the more she thought about it.

She did her best to push all those thoughts out of her mind. She tried to focus on the task at hand, which was driving. She pulled off the freeway on to the exit to get back to the hospital.

She stopped as she approached the other cars that were also waiting to get off the freeway exit. As she waiting to get off the exit, the driver in the car behind her wasn't paying attention to driving and at sixty miles per hour, he slammed into Cristina Yang's car.

**I really hope you guys liked the first chapter! Please follow, favorite, or leave a review! Thanks!**


	2. Beating Heart

**Thank you all for the positive feedback! As you can tell, this is somewhat different and somewhat the same. So in my story, Cristina never slept with Shane (Crowen fans you can breathe :) Second, as you already found out Meredith and Cristina never made up. Its more for dramatic purposes. But other than that it's basically the same! Please enjoy!**

Chapter 2: Beating Heart

Owen POV

The ER was chaotic as he strode quickly over to the nurses station. "Any incoming traumas?" He asked loudly over the chaos.

"Two. A driver wasn't paying attention to the stopped cars on a freeway exit and slammed right into a car. The driver who was hit is in critical condition. And the idiot one that hit her got away with a broken leg and a concussion to the head. He is being sent to Seattle Presbyterian though."

"Do you know what type of injuries the woman has?"

"Paramedic said they know she has a lot of internal bleeding. They haven't had time and she hasn't been stable enough to tell what other injuries she has. They believe she has a minor brain bleed because she hit her head hard on something"

"Thank you," he nodded solemnly. He decided to call Cristina because it was most likely her help would be needed. He went to his favorites in his contacts list on his iPhone. She was easy to find. She was the only one in his favorites. The number went straight to voicemail. He sighed hoping that she was on her way here anyways.

"Hey you," Emma walked up to him smiling as she gave him a quick kiss on the cheek.

"Hey," he sighed trying to force a smile.

"Something wrong?" She asked guessing she saw how worried he was.

"Nothing. I'm just waiting for a patient. Poor woman," he sighed again. "She was just waiting to get off the freeway when some jackass who wasn't paying attention hit her."

"Oh that's too bad. Tell me how it goes?" She smiled hopefully.

"Sure," he responded dryly.

Emma gave him a quick peck on the lips before she strode back inside to the ER.

He always felt guilty kissing Emma, even though he and Cristina were broken up. He missed the way his heart leaped with joy when he saw her, the way his heart beat faster when he kissed her. He missed the way they were.

The blaring of sirens interrupted his thoughts though.

He ran over to the ambulance as a paramedic hopped out. "Jane Doe. Hit by car on the I-90 exit; Massive amount of internal bleeding. Coded twice on the way here but she's stable now."

He looked down at his patient as she was being unloaded from the ambulance. He noticed the woman had dark ebony hair that was extremely curly.

"You said this woman was a Jane Doe?" He asked slowly. He prayed that this wasn't the woman he thought she was.

"That's what I said!" The paramedic screamed over the traffic in annoyance.

Owen walked over to where the woman lay on the gurney. Her hair was covering her eyes but he could see her thick pink lips. He knew those lips. He had kissed them with such passion and she in return so many times before. He felt tears rolling slowly down his face as he pushed her luscious thick curls away to expose the rest of Cristina's face.

* * *

Owen sat in the ER waiting room as he tapped his foot in annoyance. He wanted to be in there with Cristina taking care of her himself. He tried to but Webber saw her and told Hunt to go wait in the waiting room as they checked her out. Thus, there he waited.

He saw Callie enter the waiting room. She moved silently and slowly over to an empty seat besides his.

"So what's wrong? Is she going to live? How much surgery does she need?" Question after question rushed out of Owens mouth.

Callie sighed, "She's alive." She smiled hopefully.

Owen saw something in her. He could tell she was hiding something. "Callie, what aren't you telling me because I am going crazy here so you need to tell me something."

"Owen I can't." She sighed sadly as tears started forming in her eyes.

"What do you mean you can't? Yes you can!" He screamed. He couldn't just sit here and not know anything.

"Owen," she whispered sadly. "We checked her files to see who her health proxy is and when we were looking for that we also saw that she has a contract that only allows her doctors and health proxy to know her condition. And since you're not her health proxy..." She grabbed his hand and squeezed it tightly. "I'm sorry Owen. Believe me, I would tell you if I could."

"Who's her health proxy? Is it Meredith? Because as we all know I'm sure she doesn't want someone who won't even talk to her to decide what to do about her life."

Callie shook her head 'no.' "Meredith _was_ her health proxy. But as of two weeks ago, she changed her health proxy to Alex Karev. We're trying to get a hold of him now."

Owen was upset. He knew that she would never have his name down but he hoped all the same. "Just tell me if she's going to surgery. You don't have to tell me what for but please, tell me if she's going live or die. Please," he begged desperately.

Callie nodded slowly, her eyes were watery, "Okay."

**Uh oh! Please follow, review, or favorite! Thanks!**


	3. All We can do is Keep Breathing

**Hey Guys! Thanks for all the Positive Feedback! And also please check out my MerDer ****fan fiction Eye-to-Eye! **

Chapter 3: All we can do is Keep Breathing

Alex POV

"Callie what's up? You have a patient for me or something?" Callie had been paging him almost nonstop since the wedding. It was starting to get annoying so he left Jo at home and hurried over to the hospital.

Callie rushed over to him. Uh oh, he thought, she looks pissed.

"Shut up!" She hissed under her breath as she dragged him into a conference room. Callie shut the door slowly. When he turned around he realized that they weren't alone. Richard, Derek, Arizona, Bailey and Addison sat inside the conference room. They appeared to be waiting for him.

"Addison? What the hell are you doing here?"

She smiled slightly and forcefully. "Hello Alex, I wish we were meeting under better circumstances."

"Someone please tell me what's going on. You're starting to scare me because you all look scared." He could feel his heart race uncontrollably and loudly against his chest.

Derek tapped his pen at an empty seat. "We all have every reason to be scared. Alex, please sit down."

He sat down quietly and Callie sat quietly next to him.

Richard spoke up after a moment or two. His usual powerful voice was replaced with a much gentler and concerning voice. "Alex, at around 4 o'clock this evening, Dr. Yang was hit by a car on her way back to the hospital, we believe. She's in critical condition. Now, Alex, are you aware that Cristina made you her health proxy? She changed it from Dr. Grey to you about two weeks ago."

Alex nodded before he responded. "She was joking with me last week that if she made me her health proxy she would never have to give me a gift ever again because she's trusting me with her life. She's convinced that's the best gift ever," he grinned. "I guess that was her weird twisted way of telling me."

Richard nodded silently. He still wasn't saying everything. He was hiding something. He looked across at Addison and Arizona; it didn't make sense as to why they were there. Unless...

"That still doesn't explain why Addison and Arizona are here. I think I know why they're here but I need you to say it because I don't believe it so I need you to say it. I need you to say it." Alex felt like he was going to cry. How did everything get from so good to so bad in a matter of minutes?

Addison squeezed Alex's hand before she spoke. "Alex," she spoke softly. "Cristina's around twenty seven weeks pregnant. The baby's fine as of now. We got her started on steroids. While everyone else is trying to fix up Cristina, I'm going to be in there making sure nothing goes wrong with that baby. Even if she doesn't want it, I have a duty as a doctor to save that kid. That baby has a small chance of surviving anyways with her ignorance to get checked out and to take prenatal vitamins-"

Alex stood up slamming his fists on the table loudly. He felt ice water flow through his veins. He couldn't remember the last time he was this mad. It was probably when his Father was beating his Mother.

"How dare you!" He screamed angrily at Addison. Addison looked at Ales with a shocked expression on her face. "How dare you accuse her of that! You don't know her story! You barely know Cristina! I know her! I live with her! She's one of my best friends! And Cristina would never do that! If she knew she was pregnant the first thing she would've done was to go see how far along she was so she could get an abortion! And if she did decide by some miracle to have a kid she would've been checked out and taken the freakin' vitamins! She didn't know! Everyone's been treating her like shit! Meredith barely speaks to her because Cristina was being a good friend by giving her a much needed reality check and she doesn't talk to Owen because it's too painful for her to talk to him and see him happy with someone else! You wanna know how I know all this? Because she told me! She's scared and lonely so I'm her person now because no one else is! So don't you dare talk about her like that! Because she is better than the all of you combined!" And with that, Alex stormed off.

* * *

Alex sat on an empty gurney in the basement. He couldn't be seen like this. He didn't know what to do. One of his best friends was sitting up there dying while the kid she didn't even know she had is being given steroids. Everything was a mess and he didn't know what to do. And now all the responsibility was on him.

"Alex," he heard Bailey say softly in a motherly tone.

He glanced up at her. Her eyes were filled with sorrow and remorse as she sat down next to him and wrapped her arm around Alex. "You know, I agree with you. I agree with every word you say, you know why? Because it is a hundred percent true. The people she counted on, her best friends, left her behind. And you're one of her best friends. And as the only person she can trust. I need you to listen to me, okay?"

Alex nodded slowly. He wiped a couple of tears from his eyes. "She doesn't deserve this. She's been through all the crap a person could possibly go through and survived. But what if she doesn't survive this?"

"I know, Alex. I'm going to tell you the rest of what we were going to talk about. Okay? So first, in two hours, possibly sooner, Dr. Webber and I are going to go in and try to fix her bleeding. Dr. Shepherd is going to fix a very small and minor brain bleed she has. Dr. Montgomery and Dr. Arizona Robbins are going to watch the baby's heart rate but it is most likely that this baby is going to be delivered today. Do you understand?"

"Yeah, but what about Dr. Torres?" He asked.

"Dr. Torres will be in there to assist as needed. Also, Alex, did you tell anyone about Cristina's condition?"

Alex rolled his eyes and tried to force a laugh, "That's what you're worried about right now?"

"Dr. Karev," Bailey said in a serious tone. "Dr. Yang signed a contract that only allows her health proxy and doctors to know of Cristina's condition. Now Dr. Hunt happened to see her so he knows that she is injured. He only knows the part about being in a car crash, nothing else. He is not allowed to operate and is not permitted to tell anyone else. No one else does and or will. He has asked though to be updated about how her surgery went such as if she is doing worse or better. On the OR board we are putting a fake name and procedure so no one will know. That means you can't talk about it and we can't. Is that understood?"

"Yes."

Bailey patted him on the back. "Good. I'm going to go check on Dr. Yang. You are allowed to wait in the waiting room and possibly the OR gallery. You are not allowed to work."

Alex gave her a hug. "Thank you," he said relieved.

Bailey hugged back for a while. Alex heard her sigh sadly as they were still hugging, "Don't thank me yet."


	4. Into the Fire

**Sorry that this chapter is so short! Some are going to be longer than others and it also depends on whose POV its in. Also guys please check out my MerDer fanfic Eye-to-Eye. I haven't gotten a lot of feedback so when I do I will update that one. Thanks!**

Chapter 4: Into the Fire

Derek POV

"I'm sorry Meredith. I have a really important surgery."

He rolled his eyes as Meredith angrily snapped back through the phone. "We all have important surgeries Derek! But you made a promise to the kids you would be home and now you're not. What am I supposed to tell them?"

"Just tell them that I love them very much and that I will be home as soon as I can." He sighed. He forgot sometimes how dramatic his wife could be.

"The point is Derek is that you're supposed to be cutting back on surgery, not me. You promised me that. So now you're breaking two promises. Earlier today would've been the perfect time to use the 3D printer and now I can't because I'm here and you're there."

"Is that what this is about? Being better than Cristina and using the printer? Because if that is the only thing then you'll have plenty of time now," he snapped back. He felt bad about it as he could picture Meredith's face. But he couldn't help it. He was staring at Cristina's body being prepped for all these surgeries. It was almost unbearable to see such a strong woman now so weak and helpless

"Oh so now you're on her side?"

He angrily mumbled back, "I'm not on anyone's side Meredith. You have no idea what she's going through so cut her some slack."

"If this is about the damn shooting and her saving your life Derek so help me God!" She shouted back.

He could hear his son's small cry as he yelled back. Bailey was smart. He always seemed to figure out when something was wrong before they did. "Meredith, stop it. You have no idea what you're talking about. Just accept the fact that I might know some things about your best friend that you don't. I have surgery. I love you."

"Don't you dare!" Were the last words he heard as he hung up on her. He hung his head in defeat as he realized the mess he got himself into and how much trouble he was going to be in when he got home. He quickly started to scrub in as he saw Addison enter.

"You know," he began. "You should've never said that about Cristina."

"Oh come on! How does she not know she's twenty-seven weeks pregnant!"

Derek fought the urge to roll his eyes. Normally he wouldn't have. But who knows how long he's going to be trapped in the OR with her.

"You saw her. She's tiny. I wouldn't have guessed she was pregnant. I thought she gained a little weight, like a few pounds that's all." He argued back. "Admit it."

Addison rolled her eyes. "Ok fine. I guess she is really, really small for being that far along."

Derek grinned a little as he dried his hands. "Come on, we got surgery."

Addison smiled as he followed her into the OR. Callie, Arizona, Richard, and Bailey were waiting patiently.

He glanced up into the OR gallery. The gallery was locked so no one could get in. Alex sat up there alone though; he looked as nervous as Derek felt. They allowed him into the OR gallery on one condition, that if it got hairy he had to leave. The only exception was if Cristina's baby had to be delivered.

He continued to glance up at Alex as he gave a hopeful smile. "Alright everybody, it's a beautiful night to save lives. Let's have some fun."


	5. Hanging On

**Sorry guys for the late update! I wasn't feeling very inspired to write and I didn't want to post a chapter that I wasn't proud of! I will try to update more ****frequently! Please check out my MerDer story also! I will try to work on that one later tonight! Please leave a review, follow of favorite! Thanks!**

Chapter 5: Hanging On

Alex POV

Alex sat quietly in the OR gallery tapping his foot nervously. He had been here for a few hours already. He wasn't paying attention to the time. He knew that would only make him more anxious.

"Alex," Derek smiled lightly as he sat beside him.

"Did you fix the brain bleed?" He asked hopefully.

Derek smiled again before responding. It wasn't a forced smile so Alex felt pretty confident. "It was a very easy fix. It was even smaller than I expected which is always a good sign. I'm going to go get some more blood from the blood bank, just in case. You never can have too much. After I get that I'll scrub in again and help if and when needed."

Alex breathed easily for the first time today. Well, technically, since yesterday. "Thank you."

"Don't thank me. I was just doing my job."

"Well you could've said no," he argued mumbling a little.

"Why would I say no?" He asked almost stunned.

"Well because of Meredith. Since she's all pissed off at Meredith..." He sighed hoping he wouldn't need to explain more.

"I would never do that. Besides, to be quite honest, Meredith needed Cristina to say that. "

Alex was shocked. "So basically you're telling me you're on Cristina's side?"

Derek laughed a little. "Why does everyone keep asking me that? Meredith doesn't seem to understand the fact that when you have kids, you sacrifice stuff. She needed to hear it. I was a coward not to tell her."

The bonding moment between the two of them ended as they heard the monitors down in the OR start blaring loudly and all at once.

"I can't find this bleeder," Richard grumbled angrily. "Clamp!"

"Webber, the baby's in distress. If you don't get control of this in a minute I'm going to need to get the baby out." Addison yelled.

"We got this!" Bailey shouted as she suctioned.

Addison and Arizona in the background put on their trauma gowns and started positioning themselves.

Alex prayed that they could get the bleeder. Getting the baby out might do more harm than good. "Come on Yang!" He shouted. Even though he knew Cristina couldn't hear him, he hoped she got the message all the same.

"I'm sorry Webber but we have to go in now! Scalpel!" Addison shouted.

Alex ran from his seat down to the OR, as he arrived they were just taking the baby out. He stood there silently in shock.

"Get me that incubator!" Arizona shouted as she and Addison maneuvered quickly and carefully over to some nurses.

"Is the baby alive?" Shepherd shouted as he entered the OR. He noticed that Shepherd was sweaty. He must have ran down the stairs after Alex.

"She's alive. It's a miracle. She's really premature but that's to be expected. She'll have to be in an incubator for a while. She has low breath sounds but that'll get better." Arizona smiled brightly with her eyes.

Alex let out a giant sigh of relief. "What about Cristina?" He felt guilty for forgetting about his friend in those few moments.

Bailey also smiled triumphantly with her eyes at Alex. "She's as good as new. All we have to do is close."

"Dr. Karev, why don't you take this little one up to the NICU. I have to figure out a way to sneak around since no one knows I am here." Addison smiled and winked at Alex.

"Come on Karev," Arizona laughed happily. "They're both going to be okay.

* * *

Alex sat next to the incubator as Arizona and Addison checked out Cristina's baby. It was weird to think that Cristina Yang had a baby. A baby that she didn't even know about.

Alex stared intently at Cristina's baby. She was a little below normal for twenty-seven weeks. She was one pound nine ounces. She was strong, just like her Mom. She also had a couple tufts of black curls on her head. She was a cute little preemie, and he didn't say that about every kid he saw, which was a lot.

"Who's gonna be the one to tell Cristina that she has a kid she didn't even know about that's now up in the NICU?" Alex sighed putting his hands on his face.

Addison and Arizona both looked at each other like they were hoping one or the other would offer. Since no one did, Addison spoke gently. "Alex, it might be best if you tell her. You're her friend. One of her best friends. She'd want to hear it from someone she loves and trusts."

Alex breathed in slowly before he answered. "Yeah, you're probably right."

Suddenly, Arizona's phone went off. "Hello?" She answered quickly. Alex tried to listen to the other side of the conversation unsuccessfully. Arizona kept nodding and finally said thanks and hung up.

"It's Cristina." She smiled happily. "She's waking up."


	6. Say Something

**Hey guys! So sorry for not updating! Ive been traveling a lot and haven't had a lot of time to write! Ill try to post a chapter of Eye-to-Eye either later today or tomorrow! Hope you all enjoy this chapter! Please review favorite and or follow! Thanks!**

Cristina POV

Cristina woke up to the obnoxious noise of beeping of monitors and the strong smell of medicine and hand sanitizer. At first she thought she fell asleep in the hospital, she did that on occasion. She tried pushing herself to get back up but something, more like someone, just pushed her down.

"Whoa, what do you think you're doing? You just had multiple major surgeries. You can't go take a walk," she heard Derek talk calmly and kindly.

"What?" She asked in her dazed and confused state.

"You don't remember? Maybe you got a concussion, it's possible, and you slammed your head against something." Derek spoke thinking out loud.

Suddenly her memory came flooding back to her. She remembered a car slamming into the back of her car. She didn't really remember the rest but at least she knew what happened.

"Oh, the car crash."

Derek smiled in relief. "That's good. Oh and by the way, we followed the orders of your contract. Only your doctors and health proxy, Alex, knew of your condition. It was kind've fun actually, being all sneaky..."

"Oh, that. You didn't need to. I signed that after that whole thing with Burke. That was when I was a robot." She remembered how humiliated she was when she realized everyone in the whole hospital knew about her thing with Burke. She swore that type of humility would never happen again. She actually forgot about it until now.

Derek tried, and failed, to force a grin. "It might be better that we did follow it."

She was about to ask Derek what the hell he meant when she saw Alex run into her room.

"Oh my God. Thank God you're okay." He panted and smiled at her.

She rolled her eyes playfully. "Of course I'm okay."

Alex sat down in a chair on the other side of her bed, opposite of Derek. "Derek," he spoke quietly, "can you help me tell her about, you know..."

Derek had a weird look on his face that she might add was the least bit attractive. "I thought Bailey was gonna do it."

"I offered, Kind've."

Derek nodded and sighed. He looked exhausted. Alex looked worried.

"Cristina," Alex began timidly. "When you came into the ER, you had a lot of internal injuries. We performed lots of tests to determine where you were injured. One of the tests we had to perform was an ultrasound. And um..."

"Come on, Alex just tell me." She said a little frustrated. She was starting to get annoyed though more than anything.

"Cristina, you were pregnant."

Cristina felt her heart stop and she couldn't breathe for a moment. "No," she thought. He was lying. Alex was always one for sick jokes. He didn't know he was that evil though. "That's not possible," she said trying to laugh a little. "I haven't had sex in, like, six months."

"Cristina..." Derek sighed. His eyes were all McDreamy. "You were pregnant. You were twenty seven weeks along."

Cristina held her stomach. She could feel were the incision sights were bandaged. She could tell from where they were positioned one was right where her uterus was.

"Derek," she said crying. She could tell he was telling the truth. It made some sense. It would explain why her boobs got bigger and the sudden weight gain. And also the fact that she felt like she was going to puke and cry earlier. "Derek you said were. Which means was, which means, I'm not anymore. What the hell does that mean?" She said crying harder and trying to keep her voice steady but it didn't really work out all that well.

Alex grabbed her hands and spoke softly. "Yes, Cristina. You were pregnant. And now you're not. During surgery, the baby was in too much distress so Addison and Arizona had to perform an emergency C-section. She was delivered safely. She's really healthy and she's up in the NICU right now. I went and saw her. And gosh, Cristina, she's cute. She's got these adorable little tufts of black curls on her already. She's gonna have some amazing hair. Just like her Mom. And you know what else? She's strong like you too. She's a tiny little thing; she's one pound nine ounces. But gosh, you can already tell she's a little badass." Alex said smiling as he squeezed both her hands.

Cristina started crying harder. Tears poured freely down her face. Derek and Alex probably thought she was upset because she now has a baby she never wanted stuck in the NICU. But that wasn't what was bugging her.

"Cristina," Derek whispered softly as he squeezed both her hands along with Alex's.

"You guys probably think I'm mad that I have a kid I never wanted, right?"

Alex and Derek both nodded yes slowly and sadly.

Cristina shook her head no quickly. "That's not it. I mean, I could live without a kid, but now I have one so... But, I was alone. I thought I was all alone. Meredith hates me. I can't talk to Owen because I only think of how I can't be with him and it just hurts too much. But I wasn't. I wasn't alone and I didn't even know it. And now, I'm just as alone as I was before because let's face it, just because I almost died, doesn't mean my life's going to better. But what's worse is now I have a baby. And I have a kid who will make me feel better in some ways but worse in others. And that baby up there in the NICU is going to grow up hating me just like everyone else does. And a lot of kids grow up hating their parents, at least for a little bit. And they eventually will grow out of it, you know? But the thing is though, my kid won't. Because how could a kid not hate their Mother if her mother hates herself even more?"

Cristina cried and cried like there was no tomorrow. She felt Alex and Derek's hands move from hers. She thought they were leaving to maybe give her privacy, or maybe because they realized everything she said was true. She guessed the latter. But she was wrong. Because she then felt Derek and Alex's bodies, join her on the bed. They both wrapped their arms around her small body. She didn't know how long they stayed there and held her and let her cry all over all their clothes but she didn't care. She was glad they stayed for however long they did. Because wouldn't anyone rather have someone, for at least a short moment rather than be alone for infinity?


	7. Tainted Love

**Hey guys! Im trying to update more frequently so I hope every couple days is good! Did you guys not like that last chapter? I hardly got any reviews… That was actually one of the hardest chapters to write and was actually pretty proud of it. So please leave some more ****feedback. Please review, follow, and or favorite! Thanks! Oh and a little bit of a spoiler… CLIFFHANGER! Hope you all enjoy!**

Callie POV

"Nice try, Cristina," Callie snickered as she pushed Cristina's wheelchair back to her room. Cristina had recently taken to the habit of sneaking off to the NICU at any and every chance she got. "You do realize that people think you're in Boston researching, right? What are they gonna think when they see you sneaking off to the NICU in a wheelchair and hospital gown, huh?"

"I'm still working out the details," she grumbled unhappily crossing her arms.

"She snuck out again? Who was watching her this time?" Derek asked almost sounding a little annoyed as he joined the duo.

"Arizona," Cristina stated simply as she tapped her fingers lightly on the wheelchair handles. "She's so gullible."

"Hey, that's my wife," Callie shot back angrily.

"So?" She smirked confidently. "Since when did I ever care about your feelings?"

Derek chuckled a little too loudly as Callie rolled her eyes in response. "Since when did you become such a bitch? By such a bitch, I mean more of bitch than usual."

"Hmm...," Cristina sighed sarcastically leaning her head on her hand. "Lets see, I have a daughter I didn't even know I had who none of you will let me see. Do I need to go on?"

"Look," Callie stated sympathetically. "I would if I could. But you know the risks."

"Oh don't give me that crap. I've only seen those crappy pictures of her from weeks ago you guys take on your phones. I thought you'd be on my side," she pleaded desperately.

Callie sighed. She remembered all too well. Those weeks were the worst weeks of her life. Not knowing if Sofia would survive or if she'd ever get the chance to meet her. She remembered how grateful she was to Cristina for sneaking her out to go see Sofia. Callie honestly didn't even know how she survived.

"I'll try and talk to her about it," she gave in.

Cristina guffawed loudly, "Good luck with that. She's a pain in the ass."

"Whose a pain in the ass?" Arizona asked with her arms crossed blocking their path.

"You," the trio answered simultaneously continuing toward Cristina's hospital room.

"Nice," her wife responded dryly joining them. Callie couldn't help but notice Arizona's small grin.

"I don't know why you wont let Cristina see her. You said yourself that her stats were above normal and Yang's been infection free for three days. There is no reason she isn't allowed to be brought up to the NICU or her daughter brought down here."

"Holla," Alex grinned as he joined the rest of the group. "How far did you make it this time, Yang?"

"Past the ortho wing," she smiled proudly.

"Nice!" Alex exclaimed smiling giving Cristina a high five. Cristina and Alex were becoming very close lately due to the fact that Meredith wasn't speaking to Cristina. Alex had become her new person.

"Don't encourage her," Derek grumbled. Lately, he had been the one assigned to go and chase after Cristina whenever she snuck off. Callie remembered when she did it for a day; it was awful. She didn't accomplish anything because she was always chasing after her.

"Maybe I wouldn't try to run away if you let me see my kid," Cristina smirked deviously at her four co-workers and friends.

Callie noticed her wife's irritation at being the 'bad cop,' so to speak, so she quickly changed the subject. "Is Meredith still trying to get you to crack, Derek?"

Derek ruffled his hair nervously before he spoke. "Yes," he grunted in defeat. "She knows I know more than what's being told. Though, right now she's pretending she doesn't care. I'm sure that'll change soon though."

"Owen keeps asking when he can visit," Alex said as he hit the elevator button and held the door so they could all get in.

"I don't want to see him," Cristina stated bluntly. Cristina always started to shut down at any mention of Owen. Callie understood though. It was easier to be in denial and anger rather than be pining over something or someone you know you can't have. She felt the same way after she found out Arizona slept with that woman.

"You know he dumped Emma, right?" Derek asked confused as he was playing with his phone.

"What?" They all asked. This was the first time any of them heard that.

"He dumped Emma sometime after the accident. I don't know when exactly. He said something about feeling guilty though,' he exhaled.

"Guilty?" Cristina asked in incredulous shock peering up at Derek from her wheelchair. "Why would he feel guilty?"

"Because he's still in love with _you_."

Callie rested her hand on Cristina's shoulder as Cristina bit her lip. Callie couldn't help but feel bad for one of her closest friends. She was in such an impossible situation.

The small group walked quietly and in silence the rest of the short way to Cristina's room. Arizona and Derek helped Cristina out of her wheelchair and into her hospital bed as Callie sat down in the chair closest to her. Arizona stood by Callie while Derek and Alex sat on the small cot in the room.

"Well," Derek began timidly, "do you love him?"

Cristina turned her head and started staring at her hands. Callie felt her own heart start racing and her palms start to sweat. Even without looking, she could tell everyone in the room felt the same way.

"Do you?"


	8. Signal in the Sky

**Since i had nothing else to do… Why not ****post another chapter, right? I did get a little bit more feedback this time around, so thats good but still I would appreciate more! Also, people did ask me when Owen will find out about everything, that will be next chapter. However, you're probably not gonna meet the baby for a few chapters after that. I don't know, we will see how it all works out. Anyways… Please leave a review follow or favorite! Thanks!**

Cristina POV

"Do you?" Derek asked again.

The question was simple. Either Cristina loved Owen, or she didn't. Right? So why was she having such a hard time answering it?

"Shh!" She hissed loudly as she lifted her hands to cover her ears. She closed her eyes and took deep breaths to attempt to calm herself. In and out, she repeated in her mind.

Cristina didn't know anything. She didn't know what she wanted, what she had, who she was, who she is. Nothing.

You'd think that a brilliant cardiothoracic surgeon like her would have everything all figured out. But the truth was due to all the time doctors spent in college; it wasn't a surprise that most doctors were a little emotionally stunted. But on top of that, Cristina was already emotionally stunted due to all of the trauma she suffered during her childhood. All of that combined made her indecisive about what she wanted in her personal life which resulted in not the wisest decisions on her part.

She knew that she did love Owen, despite all the pain that was brought on her because of it. She loved him even after he broke her heart into a billion pieces that she thought were lost forever. She never admitted it, but it was true. She was so deeply in love with him it was embarrassing to say the least.

Cristina always believed love died as quickly as it came. When she was in her relationship with Burke, when she actually did find herself to come to love him, it came quickly and spontaneously. She wasn't surprised that was the way it ended.

But Owen, well, he was a special case. It was the type of love that came slowly and was worth fighting for. She had never felt so in love in all her life.

She stuck by him with all his PTSD and everything and he in return. Except for the worst. The abortion.

Cristina forgave him for all the pain and outrage he expressed (quite loudly, she might add). She didn't realize that it meant so much to him. She always thought it was about the fact that she made the decision by herself. He did come though, for the abortion, but he still wasn't there for when she needed him most.

She realized all those issues were behind them because of their daughter up in the NICU though. The daughter she never knew she had, the daughter she never wanted. She had come to love her though, or at least the idea of her as she still was waiting to meet her properly.

"It's stupid to worry," Cristina whispered under her breath. "Its so, SO stupid. And pointless."

After a few minutes of Cristina whispering her mantra to herself, she opened her eyes.

Her friends were all where they were before; their faces were glued on to her with very intent and focused expressions.

"Yes," she finally mustered quietly.

Arizona cocked her head to the right. "What?"

"Yes," Cristina spoke again louder and with more confidence.

Derek smiled a little as he reached out to squeeze Cristina's hands gently. "Do you want to see him?"

Cristina twisted her hair with her fingers anxiously. "He's gonna hate me..." She sighed.

"Why would he hate you?" Alex asked as he sat on the edge of her hospital bed.

"He has no reason to hate you." Arizona smiled.

"No one does," Callie agreed.

"He'll think I was lying about the-the-" Cristina always felt awkward saying that one word, especially now.

"Baby?" Callie answered. Cristina nodded.

"It's not like you were hiding it from him. He'll understand. He'll be happy too, you know?" Arizona smiled hopefully.

Cristina sighed, she knew they were right. After a moment, she managed to smirk a little before she asked for what they all hoped desperately to hear.

"Please bring Owen up here."


	9. This is the Way it Ends

Owen POV

Owen scribbled furiously and rapidly on the multiple piles of ER charts. It was an extremely busy day in the pit and he had a bad feeling in his gut that usually meant another trauma was coming.

His mind was preoccupied with thoughts of Cristina. She was always in the back of his mind, if not the front. He was worried about her and it was hard not talking about her since only a few people knew that she has actually been in the hospital the whole time.

Usually Richard or Derek would give him an update every once in a while but he never knew the details. They would tell him that her stats were good, her

incision sites were healing nicely but that was the most he ever got. He hoped and prayed desperately that once Cristina got back to work she could explain the whole situation to him.

"Hunt!" Torres screamed with her high-pitched musical voice from the ER waiting room down the hall. Callie was waving her arms hysterically and dramatically over her head.

He grumbled quietly to himself as he strode over in long strides to where she stood. "Torres this better be important."

"Oh it is," she smiled happily with her brilliant white teeth as she pulled him into an empty conference room and closed the blinds.

"Cristina wants to talk to you up in her room." She began timidly; probably afraid of how he would react.

"What? Is she okay? Does she need another surgery? Is she gonna come back to work?" Question after question rushed out of his mouth like a floodgate that had burst open.

"She's fine Owen, really." She grinned interrupting him mid-question as she placed her hands on his broad wide shoulders. "Come on."

"Okay, first, I need to explain the rules." Callie spoke as they stopped outside Cristina's hospital room.

"Rules? Seriously?"

"Yes!" She shrieked angrily under her breath. "Rule number one, don't ask questions until she says you can. And rule number two, don't interrupt her, let her do all the talking first. Are we clear?"

"Crystal," he rolled his eyes tiredly. He didn't get why Callie was making such a big fuss over everything. Then again, he was thankful that Cristina had people who actually cared for her.

"Cristina?" Callie called as she slowly opened the door and walked in. Owen followed as closely behind as he possibly could.

Cristina sat criss cross on her bed with her back against more pillows then he could count. Her back was turned to face Alex who was also sitting on her bed. He noticed that Cristina's curly mane was down to her mid back now. She was wearing her favorite red Stanford sweat pants with a plain black tight T-shirt.

When Cristina turned around, Owen couldn't help but let a little gasp escape his mouth. She looked the same but different at the same time.

Her face was pale and her cheeks were red and flushed in comparison. She had deep purple circles under her eyes. Her lips were chapped and peeled and she had a timid smile on her face but looked extremely worried.

All in all, she looked completely exhausted. The only thing that really looked the same was her eyes. Her eyes still had the ability to mesmerize him with one quick glance towards him. He was glad her eyes still had that sparkle.

"Hi," she said quietly as she pushed a few loose strands of her curly hair behind her left ear.

"Hi," he replied in a relieved tone.

"We'll get out of your way," Alex grinned standing up. He ruffled the top of Cristina's hair and gave her a quick kiss on her head. Owen also heard him whisper what sounded like "Good Luck" before he and Callie exited the room.

After a few long moments of absolute silence Owen finally began. "So... You wanted to see me?"

"I did." She nodded not looking him in the eye.

"So did you want to talk?"

"Yeah. It's just that I don't even know where to begin," she sighed tiredly as she rubbed her hands together as she sat up straighter.

Owen smiled and held Cristina's small but genius hands in his tightly. "Let's try the beginning."

Cristina managed to smirk a little. "Well, apparently you already know that I was in a car accident so I'll skip that bit. When I came in, they found that I had a small brain bleed, a sprained wrist, and a whole lot of internal bleeding. They also found that I-I..."

"Cristina, you can tell me anything. You know that."

"I know," she said sadly. "It's just I'm scared. You might hate me and that scares the crap out of me. I don't think I can live with you hating me."

"Hey, hey," he whispered as he stroked Cristina's cheek lightly. "Nothing, I repeat, nothing, could ever make me hate you. Nothing."

Cristina smiled in response and used her hand to ruffle his hair lightly.

"They found that I was pregnant."

Owens hand dropped down to Cristina's shoulder and he suddenly felt cold. "What?" He managed to whisper in a shocked tone. "How far along were you?"

"Twenty-seven weeks." Cristina stated biting her lip.

He quickly did some mental math before asking, "Was it mine?"

"Yeah," she grinned slightly. "I swear, I didn't know until they told me after the surgery." She said covering her face with her hands as she let out some quiet sobs.

"I believe you," he repeated again and again as he wrapped Cristina's small delicate body into his.

They sat like that for a while. Cristina let out all that she was feeling while he processed what he found out. Owen couldn't believe that Cristina Yang, the brilliant cardiothoracic surgeon and the love of his life, was a mother. And not just to anyone but his child. _Their child._

He wasn't mad at Cristina. This wasn't her fault. He felt bad that the people who were always supposed to be there weren't. He should've been there, and he hated himself for that.

After a few more moments, Owen finally broke the silence. "What happened to the baby?"

Cristina responded and lifted her head so she could look him in the eye. "They had to perform an emergency C-Section. She was one pound and nine ounces, so a little bit smaller than normal but not unusual. Her breath sounds were low but that fixed itself over time. As far as I know, she's perfectly healthy."

"What do you mean by 'as far as you know'?"

Cristina smirked, "Well, Arizona won't tell me a whole lot, just the basics.

She wont let me see her either, bitch."

Owen chuckled a little and was glad that Cristina was still Cristina. "Well, you know I am the Chief of Surgery, and you're a board member of this hospital, I think that means we overrule whatever Dr. Robbins says."

"Oh really?" She smiled happily.

"Really," he responded as he kissed Cristina Yang, the love of his life.

**So, sadly this is the end of this fanfic. I did intend for it to go on a lot longer but as I was writing this I got many more ideas for Crowen fanfics in my opinion are much more ****interesting so look out for those hopefully during the weekend ;). Thank you to everyone who read this story! Follow me as an author on here to be the first to read one of my new fanfics. Oh and also, for those of you who care, Crowen lives happily ever after with their daughter, Mertina will make up eventually as they always will and bippitty bobitty boo.**


End file.
